The silver cloud with gray lining

So I just got dropped quite a bomb.  I was told that my former husband is now someone else's husband and his current wife is his former mistress (from our marriage).  Here is the good news:

All my suspensions and those of my mother and sister have been confirmed
I now have definitive proof that I made the right decision to leave
I am free to be in a healthy relationship
My future is completely open and not tied down
I have learned how I can forgive without feeling obligated


I know as time moves forward and my pain heals, more things will present themselves as good things that came from this moment.

My How Things Have Changed

The last time I posted a blog, I was jonesing and jonesing hard for the last man who ... got into my cookie jar.  I was in desperate need of a deep hug from someone who meant something to me and cherished me as well.  It has been a long time since that has happened, and even longer since the moment was not muddled with details like I am married, but not to you, or I am not married, but wouldn't marry you, and the list goes on. I know you have already rolled your eyes and either verbally or mentally sucked your teeth while shaking your head because of the picture, but I suppose when we get together to go to the movies I will give you that full story.  Mostly because I should be writing other stuff right now, and I wanna focus on what I can and leave the juicy bits for the in person tete a tete.

I am in the final countdown of my final quarter here at Stanford and I am on struggle.  Not low key struggle, but not necessarily Mariah Carey struggle which is where I was last quarter.  I have 20 days til my thesis is due, and 16 days til I present on it for my department.  I have 4 classes, 1 final exam, 2 final papers, 6 response papers, 4 blog entries, and a media paper to write.  In all of this, I am dealing constantly with my meds which are either not helping enough or too detrimental because of how they affect my mind.  After this week, I will have finished with another 40% of work, a great deal, and after my thesis, I will only have 2 final papers and a final exam.

I look forward to the summer, during which I will be working on campus so yea for that, and celebrating graduation with you, and figuring out where I am going to be working after the summer.  I am hoping for this AmeriCorps position which will have me either here or in New York with Reading Partners.  I have a third interview at the site this week and I hope to find out whether or not and which position I got in the next week or so.

Let's plan out next movie day and I suggest memorial day weekend since that will be the weekend that most of my work is done and I will have a celebratory mood anyway in preparation for graduation.  I hope your life is moving along well, wedding plans, work for you and your boo, your apartment, health, all of that.