My How Things Have Changed

The last time I posted a blog, I was jonesing and jonesing hard for the last man who ... got into my cookie jar.  I was in desperate need of a deep hug from someone who meant something to me and cherished me as well.  It has been a long time since that has happened, and even longer since the moment was not muddled with details like I am married, but not to you, or I am not married, but wouldn't marry you, and the list goes on. I know you have already rolled your eyes and either verbally or mentally sucked your teeth while shaking your head because of the picture, but I suppose when we get together to go to the movies I will give you that full story.  Mostly because I should be writing other stuff right now, and I wanna focus on what I can and leave the juicy bits for the in person tete a tete.

I am in the final countdown of my final quarter here at Stanford and I am on struggle.  Not low key struggle, but not necessarily Mariah Carey struggle which is where I was last quarter.  I have 20 days til my thesis is due, and 16 days til I present on it for my department.  I have 4 classes, 1 final exam, 2 final papers, 6 response papers, 4 blog entries, and a media paper to write.  In all of this, I am dealing constantly with my meds which are either not helping enough or too detrimental because of how they affect my mind.  After this week, I will have finished with another 40% of work, a great deal, and after my thesis, I will only have 2 final papers and a final exam.

I look forward to the summer, during which I will be working on campus so yea for that, and celebrating graduation with you, and figuring out where I am going to be working after the summer.  I am hoping for this AmeriCorps position which will have me either here or in New York with Reading Partners.  I have a third interview at the site this week and I hope to find out whether or not and which position I got in the next week or so.

Let's plan out next movie day and I suggest memorial day weekend since that will be the weekend that most of my work is done and I will have a celebratory mood anyway in preparation for graduation.  I hope your life is moving along well, wedding plans, work for you and your boo, your apartment, health, all of that.

A Little Over 70 Days Til Graduation

I am currently sitting in Meier Library, trying to keep my feet warm with my scarf and sweater, updating documents and hedging my writing process for my thesis.  I am due to have dinner with my friend in five minutes across campus and I am so very tired and already missed the first assignment of the quarter and its only been 3 days.

I am going to have a lot of reading and writing this quarter just for my classes, not to include my thesis and the research that I am going to have to do.  I also am figuring out exactly whether or not I am going to help my lil bro back in San Antonio for a year after graduation or if I am going to pursue a job or fellowship program before graduate school which I also still don't know what exactly I am going to study.

My thesis draft is due Friday but I have unwisely agreed to do a play which rehearses five nights a week for the next month. I am always tired, and this is still from the all nighter I pulled last week to finish a 15 pg research paper.  The issues I am bemoaning may sound like the normal college life, but they are exacerbating my mental symptoms which will effect whether or not I can mentally handle the academic expectations asked of me here.

Just 10 weeks.

Just gotta graduate.

Maybe after things have settled down a little bit, I can start thinking about my next steps.