The past two weeks have been a whirlwind. I went through my last finals week at Stanford University with 4 papers over the weekend and a final Monday night. I ended up with straight As and finished my senior paper. God is certainly good. My mother came down for the graduation and cried as she stood up at my AAAS department ceremony and told everyone how proud of me she was. Even though my thesis poster is riddled with mistakes, I love it and will probably have my mother take care of it for me for a while.
During these past two weeks, I also managed to deal with Stephen, figure out how to move forward with(out) Sean, and decide that Taylor is not the man I want a summer romance with. Stephen turned out to be having a relationship with someone who nearly ruined our marriage years ago AND living with her! He was going to wait and tell me after his heart surgery-in August. I am not one to be the other woman. I finally had the definitive out I needed. With Sean, he also came to my graduation ceremony and flew in early to celebrate his birthday and my graduation. I told him that even though he went back to school this past semester, we were going to be in two different places in more than just one way for a while. He smokes, is not Christian, will be living in upstate New York for a while, and has more growing to do. He is not immature, just not as mature as me.
After being with Sean for a week, I also realized that Taylor was not in a place in life that reflected the man I wanted to be with right now. It does not mean that he is wrong for me, the same with Sean. They are just different from who I am looking for right now. And, I don't think if they have to change in order to be with me, that they should be with me.
Finally, just before I took my mother home, I found out that my 27 year old cousin Jennifer, an obese young lady who was attending UTSA for a communications degree, passed away the morning of Monday June 13th from a heart attack. As sad as the news was, it was also sobering. I have not been focusing on my own health, even though I watched The Biggest Loser throughout the school year. 3 weeks ago, when I saw my psychiatrist, he told me that I had gained 9 lbs in one month. Since Monday, I have resolved myself even more to not only return to the healthy lifestyle that I was forming in Illinois where I lost 25 lbs over the course of about a year but I want to be able to remain steadfast in the face of moving, a new job, and eventually graduate school. My cousin was only 2 years older than me. Obesity and the problems associated with it run in my family. Right now, I am one of the most obese young people on my mother's side. However, I do have an aunt who is 3 months older than me who did lose her weight and has managed to keep it off for years. When we were young, she was the largest of all of us. I have hope that it is possible and have seen it in person.
Now for the future, at least for the forseeable future which means the summer:
Research graduate school programs for a Ph. D. that allows me to continue researching mental health in the black community through the perspective of portrayal and representation which will asses how media affects stigma and awareness in an effort to decrease stigmas and increase awareness in future media productions
Research the Bronx and Harlem, the two areas that I might be working in NYC in the fall including mental health resources, community resources and centers, yarn shops, the list of ppl that other ppl know and want to direct me to, grocery stores, inexpensive clothing stores for work clothes, free and inexpensive places to tour especially since my mom is going to visit me, and I also believe Candace my best friend from Texas will as well
Study for the GRE and set up a time to take it ideally at the end of the summer while I am still here at Stanford. If I feel as though I am not ready by the end of the summer, I will take it in New York, but I want to have my score before I start applying to schools and have that behind me.
Do research over the summer. Currently, my advisor Dr. Teresa LaFromboise offered me a few hours every week to help with her research over the summer even though she will be off campus and in the field. I would work with her graduate students.
In the midst of all the research and study...I am also going to be starting the 10 week "Couch to 5k" program. 3 days a week I would run/walk for half an hour and so far this week I have walk/run 2x. I started Thursday June 16th and so far I have explored the surrounding area of 717 Dolores. Hills and all! I have also been eating salad, soup, cereal, apples, oatmeal, bananas, along with a few snacks and treats. Ever since I had the appointment with my psychiatrist, during which he told me I couldn't have juice and dessert, I feel like I have lost at least 2 or 3 lbs and I am aiming to not only lose what I gained before I leave for New York, but to also have a sound foundation of healthiness from these past weeks.
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